‘Yes’ Men

That Good Morning Cup, by Wespionage on Flickr

I once worked for a manager who did a great job of smiling and saying ‘Hello’ to his employees every morning. He then spent most of his time in meetings during the rest of the day… he was a manager after all, and managers are busy people.

When he was available for his employees, he enjoyed having discussions with his senior staff members to make decisions, decide on new directions, and figure out how to handle challenges.

Sounds like a great person to work for! … Right?

Perhaps so…

… But perhaps only if you paid attention to WHAT they were doing…

… and not HOW they were doing these things.

For instance, you might begin to notice that while your manager made the rounds saying ‘Hello’ every morning, their tone of voice and the words used changed depending on whom he was speaking to.  You might even begin to notice a trend amongst your fellow colleagues in those differences (but what does it all mean?!).

Now let’s say you were one of the fortunate few to be a senior staff member to this manager.  Wouldn’t that be cool?!  To be on the inside track, working closely with your manager to set the direction of your team / department, and getting opportunities to take on more responsibilities.

That sounds like fun to me!

The opportunity would become less fun as you begin to notice that your ideas are rarely considered or used for making decisions or improving the team.   Now you are beginning to wonder what is going on… your ideas and perspectives have been highly regarded by others in the organization.

So what gives?  Why isn’t your manager respecting your ideas or supporting you?  Is this happening to everybody?

Upon further observation, you find that this manager does in fact appear to take ideas from a couple of your peers.  But wait a minute, those peers are just reframing something that your manager said!  They are repackaging his comments to simply agree with what he wants to have happen.

Your manager doesn’t want new ideas, or someone challenging his (obviously perfect) ideas.

Your manager wants ‘Yes’ Men!

People who will agree with what he says and not challenge his ideas.

Aha!  That explains why your ideas are rarely considered or used – you don’t blindly agree to whatever is thrown on the table because a particular somebody said it.

Thinking back to those morning greetings, you realize that the ‘Yes’ Men on the team get meaningful interactions with your manager in the morning… and the people who aren’t?  They are getting a syrupy-sweet-so-you-can’t-actually-complain-about-me-fake greeting that lasts all of one second.

Moreover, you realize that your manager thrives on a dictatorship.  He is happy when he tells people what to do, and they do it.  He supports the senior staff who continue that behaviour with other team members.    So, opportunities on the team for growth and advancement are only given to those ‘Yes’ Men.

Not so nice anymore, is it?

This type of person does exist!

I did in fact work for someone like this after a good manager left.  I ended up leaving the team when I pieced together what was going on.  To say the least, it was a toxic environment, and I stayed in it much too long.

I learned a lot from that experience though, such as:

• Recognizing when I am working with someone like this
• Understanding myself and my own limits better
• How to view painful experiences as valuable learning opportunities
• When to try to work past differences with other people, and when to move on
• How NOT to behave if I wanted to be a good (or even great) manager

On the Flip Side

I did have a manager who did all the things I described in the first two paragraphs who was very sincere in their discussions and greetings, who truly valued their employee’s input, collaborated often to make decisions and generate ideas, and empowered their team to be responsible, creative, hard-working, and have fun.   Paying attention to HOW she behaved, not just WHAT she did, made this obvious.

I have even been this positive manager myself over a number of years in managing teams… but more on that in another entry.

Now, I would like to hear from you!

Have you worked with or for someone who is a dictator-type who thrives on working with ‘Yes’ Men?  What has your experience been like?  Were you able to find a way to work with them, or to deter their behaviours?

Please share your stories!